Wala Lang

I have always not liked office parties. As one colleague of mine described it, it is like the strained pleasantries in the office, only you extend it to 4 or 5 hours. 

We have a new Human Resources Manager and she is trying very hard to make the office a more friendly place by cooking up some very fun things for the people to do. Take the Christmas party, for instance. It was quite creative. Instead of just drinking and eating at some swanky restaurant, she divided the evening into 2 parts. The first part was a walking tour of the Christmas trees of Geneva and the second part, of course, was the eating and drinking.

Every Christmas, Geneva invites its artists to decorate the various trees around the city in accordance with a theme. This year’s theme is about the dying earth. Our new Human Resources Manager hired a professional tour guide to take us around the city to see the trees. Unfortunately, she did not tell the guide that we were all Geneva-based people.  So, the poor guide walked us around Geneva telling us the "special places" in Geneva, the best places to eat, etc.

Like good international human rights lawyers, we didn’t dare embarass the guide by telling her we’ve walked these streets a hundred times. Instead, we resorted to alcohol. Fortunately, someone brought in his knapsack a whole thermos of warm wine, the Geneva specialty. 

Here are some snippets of the conversations during the walking tour:

Guide to the group: We are now in the lake area…during the summer, the city turns on the famous Geneva fountain…

German lawyer to Argentinian lawyer: I need more wine. Where is the thermos now?

Argentinian lawyer (a bit tipsy): Somewhere with the group behind us…(then, turns to Filipino lawyer) Did you know that I used to have a Filipino girlfriend?

Filipina lawyer (gulping down her wine): Good for you. (Then, tries to shove Belgian lawyer between her and the drunk Argentinian lawyer.)

Guide to the group: If you visit Geneva again, you may want to try this restaurant…

German lawyer: At some point, someone has to tell here we all live in this f—-ing city.

Australian boss (looking disturbed): Where is the wine???? Please don’t tell me you guys drank it all.

Guide to group: Where else do you want me to take you?

German lawyer: Champel? (where he lives)

I really felt sorry for the poor tour guide who had no idea that she was with a bunch of disfunctional lawyers whose smiles were brought about by lots of warm wine. Sigh.