Wala Lang

Someone told me about the Filipino restaurant in Paquis. So, yesterday, I took my French roommate there for dinner to celebrate our moving to a new, more permanent apartment.  She was very excited since she never had Filipino food before, apart from the Lucky Me Pancit Canton Mami I imposed upon her one day.

The owner of the restaurant is a Cebuana woman and I immediately introduced myself as a fellow Bisdak. She was not very friendly.  We were the only customers in the restaurant, but she did not pay too much attention to us.  She was busy chatting with another woman and they were gossiping about the other Pinoys in Geneva. She was telling the other woman about how some Pinoys borrow money from her and forget to pay. I somehow got the idea that she was also running a 5-6 business.

Elodie and I headed for the buffet and I explained to her the four available dishes there. There was a shrimp dish which we excitedly heaped on our plates. When we started eating the shrimp, we realized that it was soooo terrible. It was too hot and I sincerely think some of the shrimp were bad.  We were polite, so we did not say anything.  We did ask for lots of water, which the owner grudgingly served us.

After eating, we asked the owner for the bill. She checked our plates and remarked with annoyance that we still had some shrimp left uneaten. We told her that the dish was too hot for us. And then, she berated us that we should just have tasted a little first before putting a lot on our plate.

We paid hastily (17 francs! The Chinese restaurant across the street charges only 10 francs for a better buffet!) and then left.

We are not going back to that restaurant anymore.

As we grow older, we get to know ourselves more.  We know what we want, our limits, when to say yes, and when to say no.  More importantly, we know what kind of people we want to keep as friends and what kind we should avoid.  So far, these are the people I try to avoid being with:

1. People severely insecure about themselves: Somehow, I have realized that I do have a strong personality.  A professor of mine in UP Law, who has become a great friend and mentor through the years, told me when I was in first year law school that I have the tendency to make the people around me feel threatened. Another professor, this time from the US law school, told me that I do appear impressive and intimidating whenever I enter a room.  More recently, a colleague of mine here in this city told me that he thinks someone in the office might think I am a threat. And when I asked him why, this is what he said: "Well, you get the other people’s attention even though you don’t try to. She, on the other hand, has to struggle to make them notice her." So therefore, I conclude, that in three continents, I scare insecure people.

I never really liked being "impressive and intimidating" because that also meant making the people very insecure about themselves hiss at me whenever I am around.  So, I avoid insecure people because they try to hit, scratch, and bite even before they get to know me. They usually see me as a threat…which I think is really ridiculous. I have not said anything yet, and immediately these people have somehow formed in their minds what they think I think about them.  Scary really, because more often than not, I really don’t have any sort of opinion about them.  People who are really insecure about themselves also have the tendency to assert their dominance over people like me.  And sorry, I really don’t like that.  I have my own mind and I know what I want.  I guess thats scares them and pisses them off. Oh well.

2.People who are both arrogant and stupid:  These are the people I often encounter in Philippine politics.  They are so full of themselves, but they are the most stupid people walking this earth.  These are the pompous politicians who patronizingly claim that they care for the masses and that they are true public servants, but they really don’t have a clue how to go about running a barrio, baranggay, siyudad, probinsya, nasud.  They actually feel good about themselves by giving a kilo of rice to poor and starving people and claim that that is already public service! Stupid gits.

I really don’t mind arrogant people, but they should know what they are doing.  I had a classmate in the US who knew he was intelligent and he made sure people knew this.  He is one of the most arrogant people I know, but I didn’t mind this because he did have brains. Kolya and I became really great friends and until now, even though he is already in the Ukraine, we still communicate with each other often.

So there…these are the people I try my hardest not to be involved with.  Sometimes, it is hard because there are times, someone may start out to be a really good friend and as years pass by, he or she evolves into one of the people above.  This has happened several times already and it makes me sad. Still, as Anton said, we must embrace realism…constant change. If that is the way things have become, then so be it.

Last Sunday, I heard mass at the church near the gare (train station).  It was the only church I knew here in this city that had a mass spoken in English.  Also, almost all the churchgoers there were Filipino.

During the mass, I looked around and wondered how the other Filipinos present at that time were coping with their lives in this foreign city.  Suddenly, the choir sang Tanging Yaman.  That was when I broke down.  I sobbed as I sang the song with the choir.  The other Filipinos pretended not to notice me.  I can’t blame them since I must have looked really crazy. 

After the mass, I did not take the tram.  Instead, I walked home and hummed Tanging Yaman all the way back to the apartment.

That does it.  It is now official.  I really have become an official Notre Dame football fan.

I thought it would disappear after moving out of campus and living a normal life again.  I was wrong.  It is Saturday night and there is a salsa festival in the park somewhere here in Geneva.  But where am I now? In my room, watching Yahoo Sports closely for its updates on the Penn State-ND game. 

Next Saturday is the game against Michigan.  I will have to drag someone to sit with me at a sportsbar somewhere.  And yes, I shouldn’t forget to wash my ND shirt!

Trust me…this conversation really happened.

Underling: Sue, I heard you are having a birthday soon. Wow, how old will you be?

Boss: I’ll be 29.

Underling: Gosh, and you’ve done a lot already! That is great!

Boss: Well, I just had 3 years of college and I immediately started working.

Underling: Even then…experience is always better than a degree.

Boss (with a painful expression on her face): Imagine, imagine where I would have been now if I had your law degrees and my experience!

Underling: Well, Sue…if you had my law degrees, you wouldn’t have your experience.

Boss then walks out of the room without a word.  Underling is at present busy arranging a surprise party for her boss and wishing that she had just kept her mouth shut.