Wala Lang

I will never be a beauty queen.  This year, a Filipina won the Ms. International title.  She won because of her terrific answer to a difficult question.  Here it is:

Q: "what do you say to the people of the world who have typecasted filipinos as nannies?"
A: "i take no offence on being typecasted as a nanny. But i do take offence that the educated people of the world have somehow denegrated the true sense and meaning of what a nanny is. let me tell you what she is. she is someone who gives more than she takes. She is someone you trust to look after the very people most precious to you - your child, the elderly, yourself. she is the one who has made a living out of caring and loving other people. so to those who have typecasted us as nannies, thank you. it is a testament to the loving and caring culture of the Filipino people. and for that, i am forever proud and grateful of my roots and culture."

Yesterday, I had a glorious day in New York.  My cousin and I visited places that we used to see only in the movies and I met up with old friends. It was a glorious day until that five minutes while my cousin and I were waiting in line for the bus going back to Connecticut.  My cousin went to the washroom, so I was left there on my own.  Suddenly, a woman (who I later learned was Taiwanese) came up to me and asked me if I was also going to Danbury.  I said yes and politely smiled.  Then, she suddenly asked, "Are you looking for a job?"  I gave her a puzzled look and answered,"I don’t understand.  What do you mean?" She pointed to the chubby kid beside her and said, "You are Filipina, right? You want to look after my kid?" Then it hit me…so, I slowly explained, "I’m sorry but I am a student here.  I go to the law school in Notre Dame in Indiana.  I don’t think I can watch your daughter."  She still couldn’t quite understand and persisted, "But the nanny we had before was Filipina. I will pay you well."  Then, I had to patiently explain again, "I’m really very sorry.  I am just visiting here.  I am a student in Indiana. I can’t take care of your daughter."

And so I realize that I could never be a beauty queen.  As usual, I wasn’t gracious enough to answer awkward queries about nannies and being a Filipina in a foreign place.

I just finished watching this film from Argentina, The Son of the Bride.  It’s a very heartwarming story about love until the twilight years of one’s life.  There is a scene there where this guy who is so afraid to commit, tells his very nice girlfriend that he doesn’t want to play games with her and that maybe they should consider having more freedom from each other.  The girl then says, "You don’t have Einstein’s brains, nor do you have Bill Gates’ money.  But I fell in love with you anyway.  I don’t know why, but I did. But that’s not the point now isn’t it?  Thank you for not playing games with me.  I wouldn’t have let you anyway…because I am worth it.  I know I am worth it."

There are times in my life when I would have given anything to have the girl’s wit! But why is it that when a situation like the one above arises, I am always the dumbest person alive?  And why is it that the only comprehensive thing I could say is…WHY?

I would love to have my life written out in a script for me.  That would save me the effort of trying to think of logical things to say.  For someone who has had lot of years of education, I can be such a dimwit.

And yes, I am worth it.  I know I am.

Here I am in my room, in the middle of the night, watching re-runs of GMA7’s Saksi and 24 Oras.  I am a Kapuso at heart, even here in the middle of midwest, USA.  I watch the policemen try to disperse the rallyists in Mendiola, another shoot-out in Quezon City, and Pres. Arroyo claiming that we actually have state secrets to steal…and then, I think — gosh, I really miss the Philippines. 

My country has its faults, but what country doesn’t?  But I love it, love it, love it.  I am counting the days when I can finally fly back to my islands, live there for good, and yes…maybe reproduce there? He he he.  I am now even searching online for the cheapest flights going back to Manila or Cebu!  My heart will always be for those 7,100 islands (high tide or low tide?) floating in the Pacific.